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:iconanninhaxox: More from Anninhaxox




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Submitted on
March 26
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murmurs
against my skin
a merciless promise:
unyielding; such frost biting pride -
harsh wind
So cold, yet still...

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:icon4mphigory:
4mphigory Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
In Poland we have two sayings:
1. Wind in Your back. - to wish someone an easy way or simply a better weather condition
or
2. Wind in the eyes. - to express how uncomfortable and unfriendly some circumstances are

We also have a song by a polish metal band Kat "Strzeż się plucia pod wiatr" which means "Beware of spitting against the wind".
So I wish you wind in your back :D
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:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner May 20, 2014
Winds can be unpredictable... Thank you my friend for your kind wishes. :hug: So very glad to see you back.
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:icon4mphigory:
4mphigory Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconelenchii:
Elenchii Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Your comment could almost be the last line of the poem.
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:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
This was my first attempt at a cinquain. I put that little bit in to give it a bit of added emphasis. :) 
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:iconelenchii:
Elenchii Featured By Owner May 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Nice :)
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:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner May 1, 2014
:) 
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hmm... in all honestly I am a little vague for me since I feel there to be a punctuation mark after skin. Most probably a semi colon or full stop. It works well till frost biting promise but the harsh wind feels out of place. Perhaps this sounds better ^^; 

" murmurs
against my skin. 
a merciless promise:
unyielding; such frost biting pride - 
harsh wind"

However since this is a fixed form I cannot comment on how to make it better. I feel it is good but I feel it restricted. Unbounded expressions bound by the form.
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:iconanninhaxox:
Anninhaxox Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
It does look much better like that. Thank you my friend :hug:
And it seems that way to me, too. I'm just unsure on how to go about fixing it. :/
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome dear :huggle: I am glad it looks better! Take your time in how to rework it!
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